HOW DO PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT YOU?

Not everyone will like you. Learn to be okay with that. Whenever I find myself in a new environment, my first instinct is to look out for those who don’t like me at all, those who feel indifferent about me, and those who seem to like me, respectively.

When you’re going to be around a place for a while, you cannot immediately tell if someone likes you just by having an awesome first contact or conversation with them. Someone treating you well on the first day doesn’t necessarily mean they like you. They could just be doing their job or just following a script in their head that says “First impressions last long. Be nice.” You have no idea what is going on in their mind, especially if you are one who isn’t good at reading body language. Also, you have to understand that some people’s attitude towards you may change as they get to know you.

Regardless of their words, body language is the best way to judge whether someone dislikes, likes or is indifferent about you. No matter how hard a person tries to hide their true feelings, they still give away signals about what’s actually on their mind through their body language. It might just be a mild signal no one would notice but if you look close enough, you’ll see it. The mind controls the body.

I’ve been in situations where the people who disliked me initially ended up being the ones who cared the most about me and those that seemed to like me at first ended up drifting away. You definitely want people that like you and are positively interested in your life around you. Someone not liking you is better than them being indifferent about you. As always said, “there’s a thin line between like and dislike”. The slate of “dislike” can still be flipped to the other side of “like” but indifference mostly always grows into dislike.

Indifference is one of the most dangerous emotions in the world. It is a state whereby a person refuses to see the good or bad in someone or something. No matter what they do, either good or bad, it just goes unnoticed. Note that unlike dislike, indifference doesn’t always originate from envy or jealousy. It is mostly just a cold feeling towards someone or something or towards anything going on with them. A person can be friends with you and be indifferent about you or a person can wish you well but be indifferent about what goes on in your life.

As human beings, we are mostly wired to have a sense of community. You want to have people on your team, a clique, a tribe. You desire to be accepted by everyone you come across. I want you to know that you’ll eventually get exhausted and frustrated if you don’t train your mind to know that it’s okay to not be accepted by everyone. In fact, that should make you know that you’re doing something right. Not everyone will like you, not everyone will understand you, and not everyone will want to understand you.

Figure out those who like you and work your way up from there, but don’t be too fast to form any seriously close friendships. Take your time to study them while still being friendly with them. Find out what makes those who don’t like you feel that way about you. If they are things you can work on, do so but don’t feel pressured to become someone you’re not just so that you can win people’s hearts.

Focus on the good. Focus on those who like you. As for the others, those who will change their mind about you will and others will hold on to how they feel about you no matter how hard you try. They’re necessary evils in this life. The moment you accept this reality, then you’ll thrive.