POEM: A RESOLUTION OR NOT

If you think you have an opinion

And you feel the need for communion

Do not speak like you have dominion 

No one likes to feel inferior in a union

Secretly cutting onions

Because you constantly reject their opinions

[Click on the title to view poem]

Poem: A Resolution or not

HOW DO PEOPLE FEEL ABOUT YOU?

Not everyone will like you. Learn to be okay with that. Whenever I find myself in a new environment, my first instinct is to look out for those who don’t like me at all, those who feel indifferent about me, and those who seem to like me, respectively.

When you’re going to be around a place for a while, you cannot immediately tell if someone likes you just by having an awesome first contact or conversation with them. Someone treating you well on the first day doesn’t necessarily mean they like you. They could just be doing their job or just following a script in their head that says “First impressions last long. Be nice.” You have no idea what is going on in their mind, especially if you are one who isn’t good at reading body language. Also, you have to understand that some people’s attitude towards you may change as they get to know you.

Regardless of their words, body language is the best way to judge whether someone dislikes, likes or is indifferent about you. No matter how hard a person tries to hide their true feelings, they still give away signals about what’s actually on their mind through their body language. It might just be a mild signal no one would notice but if you look close enough, you’ll see it. The mind controls the body.

I’ve been in situations where the people who disliked me initially ended up being the ones who cared the most about me and those that seemed to like me at first ended up drifting away. You definitely want people that like you and are positively interested in your life around you. Someone not liking you is better than them being indifferent about you. As always said, “there’s a thin line between like and dislike”. The slate of “dislike” can still be flipped to the other side of “like” but indifference mostly always grows into dislike.

Indifference is one of the most dangerous emotions in the world. It is a state whereby a person refuses to see the good or bad in someone or something. No matter what they do, either good or bad, it just goes unnoticed. Note that unlike dislike, indifference doesn’t always originate from envy or jealousy. It is mostly just a cold feeling towards someone or something or towards anything going on with them. A person can be friends with you and be indifferent about you or a person can wish you well but be indifferent about what goes on in your life.

As human beings, we are mostly wired to have a sense of community. You want to have people on your team, a clique, a tribe. You desire to be accepted by everyone you come across. I want you to know that you’ll eventually get exhausted and frustrated if you don’t train your mind to know that it’s okay to not be accepted by everyone. In fact, that should make you know that you’re doing something right. Not everyone will like you, not everyone will understand you, and not everyone will want to understand you.

Figure out those who like you and work your way up from there, but don’t be too fast to form any seriously close friendships. Take your time to study them while still being friendly with them. Find out what makes those who don’t like you feel that way about you. If they are things you can work on, do so but don’t feel pressured to become someone you’re not just so that you can win people’s hearts.

Focus on the good. Focus on those who like you. As for the others, those who will change their mind about you will and others will hold on to how they feel about you no matter how hard you try. They’re necessary evils in this life. The moment you accept this reality, then you’ll thrive.

8 THINGS TO DO WHEN LIFE THROWS STONES AT YOU

  1. Work through your Emotions: You need to allow yourself to feel. There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying yourself to sleep or having some alone time to be emotional. You actually end up feeling better and it sometimes comes with getting closure. Bottling up your emotions will only make you feel worse. It might seem like you’ve escaped the emotional outburst but you are only setting yourself up for an emotional disaster later, because your mind would still somehow lead you back to that which you’re avoiding.
  2. Listen to Music: Music has been proven to be therapeutic. Even though listening to songs that relate to an event or predicament allow you relive the moment, it eventually calms you. Find a song you can relate to and put it on repeat if that makes you feel better.
  3. Talk to Someone You Trust: Make sure the person is a good listener and someone who will not judge you. There are some people you talk to and even if they don’t give you any advice, you leave them feeling much better than before you talked to them. Those are the kind of people that can help you heal.
  4. Breathe: Try the deep breathing and meditation techniques of stress relief. They can work magic. I’ve tried these several times and they absolutely worked for me.
  5. Be Hopeful: If you make a projection of your life within the span of a year from now, you’ll discover that what you are feeling at the moment would not really matter then. Why waste your energy on draining yourself psychologically when you can choose to move on and feel good about yourself.
  6. Figure out your Mistakes: Try to be objective and sincere with yourself, then ask yourself questions like “What happened?”, “Where did I go wrong?”, “What did I do wrong?”, “What could I have done differently?”, “What can I do to make it right?”. Once you are able to answer these questions correctly, then you will be able to retrace your steps.
  7. Try Again: You should never stop trying. Never give up. When you get let down or disappointed in one thing, then you pick yourself up and try the same thing again. You could also choose to try something else if you’ve discovered you are not so good at that particular thing or you are more interested in something else. Your success lies in your interest. Don’t be afraid to start over.
  8. See a Therapist: If none of the above works for you, see a professional therapist as soon as possible. I’ve read a lot of people’s testimonies about how this helped them get through a particular turbulent situation or life in general. Don’t be too embarrassed to see a therapist. It doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong with you. A lot of people you look up to do that as well. Stop caring about what everyone thinks of you and take good care of yourself. Do whatever it takes to get better. Remember, you’ve got your own life to live.

POEM: LIFE 004

Here’s how it seems

A flowing stream

A realm of dream

A cloud of steam

A line of seam

A long strong beam

Sweet and sour cream

[Click on the title to view poem]

Poem: How life seems